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Using chastity to keep your husband faithful

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It is easy to forget that chastity is a wonderful and important virtue while living in our confused world that thinks only about pleasure. It allows us to discover our true calling and incorporates the entirety of human sexuality. But explaining this to a secular person is an enormous task, sometimes even impossible. If you want to have a chaste marriage, the options will be limited to only going out with other faithful Catholics which makes the available dating pool slim, to begin with, and also filled with a number of other faith-based conflicts.

Chastity has many benefits. A recent study on the long and short term effects of male chastity found that it had a very positive benefit to both pre-marital couples and individuals with the intention of remaining abstinent until marriage.

Chastity in marriage includes opening your eyes to more strong marital love

Marital sex is, in fact, a good and holy sacred act where both spouses give their unique “gift of self” to the other. Marital union reflects the lesser-known imagery of Jesus when He was referred to as a groom, while the Church was his bride. Christ gave to his bride, the Church, his body, blood, soul, and divinity as a gift, and in a similar fashion, both spouses are commanded by God to grant Him their union and their marriage bed. The church basically regards every time a married couple has sex as a renewal of their marriage vows. So in this way sex can be considered to be a prayer that any married couple can offer to God. If you will keep this imagery in mind when you are married, it will help you to always remember how sacred and blessed your duty to marriage really is.

Premarital sex and cohabitation have many negative effects

Many people tend to believe that couples who practice premarital sex or start to live together before their marriage are more prone to creating a successful marriage. But in fact, research has shown that those who have sex before marriage, as well as those who cohabitate, will be more likely to divorce. Cohabitation in particular has been found to lower spouses’ commitment in the marriage and lead to a higher divorce rate. Meanwhile, researchers have not found any benefits of cohabitation. Some people also suggest that cohabitation can cause harmful effects because it shows a couple they can appropriate the benefits of marriage without having a full commitment. It can in turn encourage a certain type of freedom that will not be compatible with a healthy marriage. After the couple is married, they won’t be able to leave behind this kind of independence and create a healthy marital bond.

Emotional dimensions of sexual bonding

The fundamental human need for physical closeness is real, but perhaps what’s even more important is the deeper human need for a loving relationship with others. Many people can’t distinguish their need for sexual emotions from their need for having true love. If they decide to build a connection with another person and start with sex, their relationship will most likely quickly deteriorate and leave long-lasting psychological damage in its wake.

Trust in God and don’t forget your spiritual life

Chastity is a hard road but it’s the one that is worth walking. If the couple could wait long enough so that they were able to fully give off themselves for the rest of their lives, they would create a truly chaste marriage, which is a really beautiful gift. The wounds of a confused life that didn’t have order can cause serious pain and present you with a set of risks to future marriage. And even though God will eventually indeed forgive you and provide you with the grace of having a chaste marriage, a lot of things won’t ever disappear. For example, memories that may wound you, prevent you from being sensitive to your spouse and weigh you down. It is definitely not worth it, and that’s why chastity will always remain to be the best option for sincere and true love between the spouses.

Chastity in marriage requires physical and emotional faithfulness

When we rely on such things as infidelity or watching porn to fulfill all of our deepest marital needs, we begin the decline from being spiritually and mentally whole to being fragmented. Only our beloved spouse should satisfy our needs. Eventually, the marriage starts to erode and with time implodes, if the problems are not addressed, from watching unchaste materials or unfaithfulness. Because all of the deepest sexual needs of married spouses were designed to be satisfied within the context of the deepest and most interpersonal kind of relationship – the marriage. Those needs cannot be fulfilled just by cold and faceless means like porn, erotic novels, etc. Marriage is such a good thing, that it won’t be possible to fill its deepest wells of love by any counterfeits of passion.

A faithful marriage must be rooted in a love of God

In order to have a truly chaste marriage, you have to be completely sure in your own commitment to chastity before saying “I do“. In that case, this personal basis of chastity will strengthen your marriage bond. It is not sufficient to just love a person and decide on chastity. Your union must be rooted deeply in a love of God. We can genuinely succeed in living up to the call of being chaste only through the grace and providence of God. We can start to love and appreciate the other person as a gift only if we are responsible to God and his plan for our sexuality and accept it with love.


Chastity is without a doubt a virtue that is right now being counter-cultural and the one that demands exceptional self-mastery and great sacrifice. It demands a love ordered by God and in turn a genuine love for other people. Chastity in every marriage will be an ongoing examination of the hearts and minds of both spouses. It will require a constant measuring of their most hidden intentions. Though it will not always be pleasant, chastity in marriage, however hard it is, will teach you to be accountable to the great gift of sexuality by trying to excel in your marital love.

Created 26 Mar 2021
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Founder Kelly Wilson
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